


Shattering of Two Souls Part 1

by The_court_of_dreams



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Heartache, Mating Bond, Rejection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-28 21:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14457648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_court_of_dreams/pseuds/The_court_of_dreams
Summary: This is based off of a post by Illyriandragon on tumblr. What if Lyria hadn't died and they live happily ever after. Then their son is one who trains Aelin on Maeves behalf.





	1. Chapter 1

Mistward loomed ahead in the evening sun. Rowan and Lyria Whitethorn were tired from the long horse ride to meet their son for his birthday weekend. Edan had been in Maeve’s royal household as one of her top commanders for almost two hundred years. They had not seen their son in the past three years due to Queen Maeve. Lyria had been looking forward to this trip for months. Ever since Edan had written a letter, saying that he would most likely be at Mistward over his birthday. He was training a female demi-fae from Adarlan, on Queen Maeve’s behalf. Mistward was the closest training center near their mountain home. So, the choice was simple. He had a gut feeling that he was supposed to go to his son. Rowan didn’t know the reason behind the feeling. Just that he needed to go to Mistward.  
“I’m so excited to see him,” Lyria beamed to his left. Her brunette hair swayed with every trot of the horse. Her caramel eyes sparkled with anticipation.  
“So am I. It has been to long since we have seen him. Maeve hasn’t allowed him to see us for a long time,” replied Rowan with equal passion.  
Before meeting Lyria, Rowan had considered joining Queen Maeve’s personal elite warriors. But then he met Lyria on a market street. She had been selling flowers. Marrying Lyria had costed the Queen of the Fae’s favor towards him. But he didn’t care, the two hundred years had been full of bliss. But as soon as Edan had become of age and grown fulling into his gifts. Maeve had scooped him up as quickly as she could. Despite Rowan’s warnings. That fateful year was almost two hundred years ago. It seems like he and Lyria had lost their son when he took that blood oath. Rowan was grateful that he hadn’t taken that jump before meeting his wife.  
In Edan’s letter, he said that he was training this demi-fae from Adarlan. The girl was Aelin Galathyinus, the lost Queen of Terrasen. The one who had gone missing, for ten years, when magic fell in the northern continent. Now, she was in Wendlyn trying to gain formal training in magic. Due to the fact, that magic hadn’t returned to their continent. Now, Rowan was curious to meet a future queen of a realm.  
~  
After Rowan and Lyria had put their horses away in the fort’s stables. They headed into the castle to find the dining hall. As they walked through the shield around fort. His magic had perked up due to the scents surrounding the place. He had dismissed it, thinking it was his magic recognizing his son’s scent and well of power. There was a small scent of crackling embers that sparked his interest. But he dismissed it. Edan had inherited his magic from Rowan. He had acquired the same ice and wind as his father. Rowan couldn’t have been happier, when his powers manifested.  
Soon after wandering the fort’s corridors. They had come across a demi-fae that showed them in the right direction towards the dining hall. As Rowan opened the door for Lyria to pass through. They found the hall empty. Evidently, they had beaten Edan and Aelin.  
“Wow, we beat them here.” Lyria exclaimed to him. His magic perked up inside of him. Rowan sent out a small breeze, trying to find the source of his magic’s interest. He detected a male and female heading toward the room Lyria and he were occupying. The doors to the hall opened with a swift push. Edan breezed in towards them. Rowan looked towards Edan with a large smile on his face. Then Aelin walked into the room. Everything had gone silent. The world had gone still around him.  
Rowan looked at the girl who walked into the room. Everything about the girl sent his magic roiling. Everything in the world had slowed as he looked at the girl in front of him. A warm, solid bond flowed between them at that moment. Pure happiness filled every pore of it. A future flashed before him. Aelin sitting on a throne, with him sitting next to her. Their fingers interlocked. She turned her head and gave him a smile that could drown out the sun. A golden crown adorned atop both of their heads.  
Then his vision ended. She was beautiful. There were no other words to describe her. Her turquoise blue eyes widened with shock. They had the slightest rim of gold surrounding the pupil. Every bone in is body went still. She was wearing a simple pine green dress that hugged her generous curves. It took every ounce of his power not to walk over to her and place his hands on her face.  
He could hear Edan speaking to the four of them. But all he could see was her. The early evening sun caught her hair and made it look like liquid gold. She took a small intake of breath. A small smile reached her lips as they stared at one another. Such hope shown in her eyes. Hope that hadn’t been there a moment before. As if she felt the same thing. The world, once a flawed and hurtful place. Became a beacon of hope. A word clanged through him.  
Mate. Mate. Mate.  
Then reality hit him. More like Lyria’s voice hit him. Turning his head, he saw the woman who had been his partner for almost two hundred and fifty years. Her caramel colored eyes searching his. The woman who he had married and started a family with. A person who he thought he would live out the rest of his life with. Then he turns his gaze to Edan. His son, who he was so proud of. No, his and Lyria’s son. In that moment, looking at two of the most important people in his life. Rowan Whitethorn made a choice that might very well haunt him for the rest of his immortal life.  
He was going to say no.  
Slowly, Rowan turned his head to Aelin. His soul-bonded partner. And started to shake his head. Everything in Aelin’s face fell as she realized what he was doing. The hope that had been in her eyes a moment before faded to despair. The light that was in her eyes now, of meeting her mate, had faded into nothing. Now she was shaking her head in shock. Rowan turned his gaze from the girl. Turned his back on his mate.  
“Please don’t, no.” Aelin whimpered from where she stood. Rowan looked up at her with hurt and sorrow in his eyes. The beautiful bond that had linked them shattered with his refusal. Pain coursed through him. But he embraced. Embraced it for the family that stood before him. Looking at them both with confusion. Aelin sank to her knees. Clutching her chest and shaking her head in disbelief. Fire danced at her finger tips. A sob escaped her lips.  
“Aelin, what’s wrong?” Edan’s voice was a distant echo. Aelin turned, sobs racking her body, got up and ran from the dining hall. Leaving behind two hand prints in the marble. She had burned through the stone. As she left, the world had gone bleak around him. All color lost it beauty. The air and wind no longer sang its secrets to him. All the beauty in the world was now lost to him. As the princess ran away from him. As the person that was to be his soul-bonded partner left his sight. It took everything within Rowan’s self-control not to chase after her and make amends of what he had just done. Make right of the future they could have had together. Make the pounding in his chest stop its constant beating. A shuttering breath released out of Rowan. Deep down, he knew that it could not be fixed.  
Edan and Lyria’s faces came back into view and their voices became clear. “What was that all about? Father, what just happened?” Edan pushed.  
“Ro, you need to talk to us. What the hell just happened?” Lyria’s sweet voice asked from where she was standing.  
“Nothing happened,” he replied softly. Except for the shattering of two souls.


	2. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part two of the series "If Lyria hadnt died."

Everything hurt. Not just Aelin Ashryver Galathyuinus’ shattering soul. But it felt like her life blood had stopped pumping the moment he had rejected her. But her traitorous body continued its working. From the moment she had walked into the mess hall. Her world had gone calmly still. As if everything that was wrong in her life was righted. That the shit show that she called her life would all be all right if he was there with her. Then he had made a choice that damned them both. Made a choice before even getting to know her.

She was kneeling in small meadow seven miles north of Mistward. Aelin had sprinted here after leaving her mate. Emrys and Luca had both called after her as she ran. But nothing could stop her. Running was the only thing that could keep her mind off it, or so she thought. Running had helped for the first mile and half. Then flashes of memory had slowly crept its way back into her soul. She and Edan had frequented the meadow during her training sessions. It was near a river that wasn’t quite loud enough to drown out the constant noise in her head. Aelin knew the reasoning. Rowan had a wife that loved him, and he loved in return. His wife had given him a son. They were one, big happy family. 

What could she give him? There was nothing that he didn’t already have. The only thing she could give is heartbreak, war, death, ash, and her broken heart. Aelin understood. But it didn’t keep her heart and soul from breaking all over again; every time she thought about him. She didn’t even really know him. Except that he smelled of home, of Terrasen. The pine and snow of the Staghorn Mountains that looked over her home. 

It all made sense now. The reason she had been so drawn to Edan. But it had never been completely right. Edan had been so calming. Aelin had hated him at first. For being so happy. For not being as broken as she was. But they had become friends. She began to trust him more. Before her world had crumbled around her. Edan had told her all about his family. About his parents who loved one another. 

Edan’s rain and sandalwood scent hit her before Aelin saw him. The grass besides her rustled as he sat down next to her. 

“What happened? Father isn’t saying anything, and you ran off as if someone had lit you on fire,” Edan asked in a soft voice. That’s the thing about Edan, he never raised his voice towards her. It drove her insane in the beginning. Aelin looked up at him. Dumbfounded for a moment. She immediately knew that she could no longer work with him. Not when he looked so much like the man who was her soul-bonded. Not when his silver hair reminded her of him. But she still needed to gain her aunt’s favor. Needed to learn about the wyrd keys and the valg. 

“I can’t work with you any longer. You have to go to Doranelle and get one of your other cadre to train me,” Aelin responded in answer.

“No, and you didn’t answer my question. Also, we were fine this afternoon.” Edan pushed.

“I can’t work with you, Edan. Please just leave me be.”

“Not a chance in hell. We were just getting through to each other. I’m not going to give up on you now,” Edan retorted. “What happened between you and my father?”

Aelin flinched at the word. Gods, Rowan was Edan’s father. No, she can’t work with him. Edan’s eyes where searching her face for any inking of what happened. Aelin knew that he had seen her flinch at the mention of his father. Edan continued to push about the subject.

Finally, when she couldn’t take it any longer. “I can’t work with you because whenever I look at you, all I see is him. All I see is him shaking his head and shattering my heart and soul into a million pieces.” She looked up at him. Edan shaking his head in confusion. 

“I still don’t understand, Aelin.” Edan said softly.

"Gods, I’m going to have to spell it out for you!” she says, voice rising, “He’s my mate. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear. Your father is my mate and he rejected me. I am living in a constant nightmare. Whenever I close my eyes all I see is him.” Her voice broke at the last words. Tears started to flow once again down her cheeks. Aelin buries her face in her head and curves inward.

Edan just stares at her in blank shock. 

“Now, I need you to leave me alone,” she growls.

Edan was silent for a long moment. “So that’s what it was. You and my father are mates.”

"No, we are not. He rejected the bond for you and your mother. Before you look at me like I have three heads. I could read it clearly on his face. He was shocked to find out that he finally found his mate. Then your mother spoke. He looked at her and shame flooded his face. In that moment, I knew that my mate would never be mine. I knew that my mate had been given to another. I’m positive that if I were to fall asleep right now. My dreams would be plagued by him.” Aelin said, her voice gradually getting softer.

There was a darkness within her. A darkness that had started to envelope her since her family had died all those years ago. It strengthened within when her beloved Sam had died and almost drowned her whole when she was sent to Endovier. Being around Dorian, Chaol, and Nehemia had fought that darkness back for a while. Then Nehemia died and she left Chaol at the docks to come to Wendlyn. Aelin had fallen into a pit so large, she scarcely believed she would emerge at all. Edan had helped so much getting her out of that darkness that shadowed her every step. 

Now after meeting Rowan and realizing that he was her mate. She thought for one second that the darkness finally would be driven back for good. That Aelin had a reason to fight this war that is to swallow the world. But he had told her no. All that light, all those moments trying to fight back the darkness. Aelin knew that she would never get out. And that maybe, she didn’t care. Maybe she would let the world burn for spite. Maybe she would be the one to start the fire. 

Aelin of the Wildfire stood from where she knelt by the bank of the river. Stood from where her heart and soul were lying beside the riverbank. Riverbank, how ironic. Though, in the gapping hole in her chest. Rowan Whitethorn still held a strong hold. Which was tied to a small thread. Aelin ignored that small thread. Knowing it would only bring her more heartache if she ever examined it. 

Aelin Galathynius wondered if Rowan Whitethorn hadn’t completely rejected her. You can’t think about that. He doesn’t want you, or the bond between the two of you. She wondered if the thread would fade with time. 

~

It had been a week since that fateful day at Mistward. Things had been awkward between Rowan and Lyria. He hadn’t gotten the courage to tell her what had happened. After a while, it seemed like she was going to let it go. While he was awake, he could keep the visions of Aelin at bay. It seemed like everything reminded him of his soul-bonded. When the sun ray caught a certain patch of grass. Seeing the blue of the sky, the smell of the fire they lit every night. Even walking through the garden, the scent of lavender. Everything reminded him of her.

Gods, it was worse at night. He could do nothing for the dreams. It was always Aelin. They were a mixture of good dreams and nightmares. Rowan was ashamed to admit that he would reach for a woman far away. Somehow, he had a feeling the same thing was happening to her. Rowan felt so guilty when that happened. He didn’t know how to stop it. 

One day, a black hawk swooped in through the front open window. In a flash of light, Edan stood there. Rowan froze when he saw his son. Scenting the air, he could faintly detected Aelin’s scent on him. His body awoke at that moment. Knowing that the scent of his mate was near. Longing filled his veins, wanting to near to her.

“We need to talk,” Edan said as a way of greeting.

Slowly, Rowan nodded and lead the way out of the house. He went towards the large gardens in the back of the property. Making sure that Lyria was not following them. Seeing the look, Edan turned towards his father in confusion. He blurted, “Have you not told her yet?”

Rowan gave his son a sharp look and motioned towards the small shed. Rowan’s mind was racing. Trying to figure out why Edan was here and not at Mistward. Was something wrong with Aelin. Stop, you can’t be thinking about her. You told her no. Since that day, he often thought if he made the wrong decision. 

“Why?”

Rowan knew exactly what his son was asking. Why hadn’t he given Aelin a chance to introduce herself? Why he immediately disregarded her? Why he walked away from his mate?

“You know the reason, Edan. How could I walk away from you and your mother? How could I leave behind two hundred and fifty years? She isn’t even twenty years old yet. She is a fraction of my age. She is a child-“

“No, she is not.” Edan interrupted, “If you had taken the time to even talk to her. You would have realized that she has been through enough to make a man, five times her age, crumple to his knees. She has been through so much in her short life. Aelin might look young. But it would only a fool would call her such. Aelin has seen and done many things. Though, if you give her the chance. I'm sure she would tell you in time. She carries darkness on her shoulders. When I met her, she was deep in that pit. I didn’t think I could ever get her to emerge. We, Aelin and I, made progress getting her out of that pit. And when you rejected her. She has retreated so far back. That I know, no one other than her mate can coax her back out. The world needs Aelin Galathynius whole and willing to fight. It might just fall if she can't escape the darkness.” Edan spat in his face.

Pain crumpled his features. He knew that he had broken both of their spirits. But didn’t realize just how far he had gone. He had glimpsed that darkness in her when she collapsed to her knees in front of him. He just didn’t know how deep that went.

“I have already made my decision. The bond that was between us is gone,” though that wasn’t entirely true. He still felt small glimpses of it from time to time. “There is no way to get it back. Edan, I cannot leave your mother. I have spent to long creating a future for all of us. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“Wouldn’t be fair?” Edan snarled, “what’s not fair is not giving your mate a chance to even say a word before rejecting that bond.”

A small gasp escapes from behind the two of them. Edan and Rowan whipped around to see Lyria standing there in shock. They hadn’t heard her approach due to the argument. “That is what you wouldn’t tell me. Aelin Galathyinus is your mate. Ro, did you tell your mate no?” tears were forming in Lyria’s eyes. She was slowly shaking her head in disbelief. 

“You rejected your mate because of us. Because of me?” Lyria whispered.

“Lyria, what was I supposed to do? Just give everything up for a girl I just met. Give up the last two hundred years with you. No, I love you both too much to do that.” Rowan said in defense.

“Edan, your father and I need to speak privately.” Lyria says to our son. Edan looks like he wants to object. But thinking better of it, he slowly nods and leaves his parents to talk alone. 

The space between Rowan and Lyria was taut. This is the reason I didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t want this awkwardness. Lyria looked as if she was thinking the exact same thing. She looks down at the damp earth beneath her feet. The earth they had both slaved over when they bought this land. Memories flowed over him. Pregnant Lyria sitting in a chair ordering him around on where the flowers needed to be. Young Edan screaming gleefully as Rowan chased him through the gardens. Being a flower girl, Lyria always had a soft spot for plants. Rowan smiled to himself at the pleasant memories. 

“I think we should sit,” Rowan suggested. His wife looked up at him and smiled. Looking around, he went into the shed and brought out two outdoor dining chairs. It was just getting into springtime. The flowers were starting to bloom. He carried them out to a small batch of shade under a large apple tree. Its sweet-scented blossoms caressed his nose. Rowan set them a decent space apart. Thinking that she would want to be away from him for this conversation. Surprised lit his face when Lyria saw the set up and moved the chairs closer to one another. 

He motioned for her to sit down. Nodding, she sat down in the further chair. Rowan sat down next to her. Lyria grasped his hands as soon as he sat down. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Lyria asked. There weren’t any accusations in her voice, only curiosity.

“We have been together for the past two hundred years. We have created this wonderful life together. And honestly, I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t think it was fair to just leave all this history behind for a woman I don’t even know. So, I told her no.” Rowan replied. 

“There is the male I fell in love with. Always so noble. Even when you shouldn’t be. You rejected your mate. The one person who you were destined to be with. Even I can’t even compete with that. The Gods have put you together. You didn’t even give her the chance to introduce herself.” Lyria said gently stroking her thumb across his hand. 

“I know you don’t want to break apart this family. But I don’t think I could love with you knowing that there is another that deserves you more than I do,” tears started rolling down her cheeks at the words. There was such honestly in her words, that tears started rolling down his cheeks. In that moment, he knew that their relationship ended. Even though they still had feeling for one another. Rowan was grateful for the woman sitting in front of him. The woman willing to let him go so that he could find a life with another. 

“Thank you, Lyria,” Rowan says drying his tears. He leans forward and places a gentle kiss on his wife’s lips. It was a soft, warm, and heartbreaking. It signaled the end of a marriage and relationship. Lyria pulled away and pressed her forehead to his. He shifts his head and pulls his wife into a final embrace. Lyria softly cries into his shoulder as they hold one another for the last time. Rowan swiftly stands and places one last kiss on her forehead. He pulls away and walks away from her. 

Edan was standing in the hallway of the place he called home for so long. So many memories filled the halls and rooms. Edan looks past his shoulder where his mother sits crying silently. Rowan slowly nods to him. His son takes his leave to sit with his grieving mother. 

Rowan Whitethorn shifts into his white-tailed hawk and soars into the evening air to find his mate. Not once glancing back at the life he just turned away from. Not looking to see his wife press two fingers to her lips and raise a farewell. Rowan flew towards where his heart called to him. The small thread inside his heart came to life as he flew closer and closer to where Aelin was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how long this will go on for. I'm hoping for maybe a couple more chapters. At least until Beltain.


	3. Willing to Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part three!!!

The morning meal had just gotten over. Aelin and Luca were in the kitchen when Edan walked into the kitchen. Spotting her, he walked over and took up a dish rag near the sink. Aelin was cleaning the dishes from the meal. Edan picked up the soapy dish and rinsed it. The sound of sloshing water and cloth against metal was the only sound. Sensing the tension, Emrys and Luca smartly remained silent.  
“You have the day to yourself,” Edan started. “There is something I need to take care of. It will take me most of the day. So, do what you wish. Just remember that you are on scullery duty in the morning, then training afterwards,” Edan glanced at her for a confirmation.  
Nodding, Aelin handed him the clean dish. Wiping it down and setting it on the rack to fully dry, they stayed in the comfortable silence til the dishes were cleaned. It had been hard the first couple of days. Having Edan as a constant reminder of what happened was torturous. Even after complaining countless times about her need for a new trainer. He didn’t abide her wishes. Life resumed its running. 

Aelin’s days were plagued with the reminders of Rowan. She could never escape him, having Edan as a constant presence didn’t help. Every step was a reminder that her mate had rejected her. Aelin knew that she would have to move on eventually. But it was still to raw. It was a constant nightmare. Her dreams were indeed plagued by what could have been. Just how she predicted to Edan that day she knelt by the river. Aelin had become a shell of herself and she didn’t care. 

Luca was oblivious to her broken heart. But Emrys was smarter. He knew something was wrong. Went coming to Mistward, she had been immediately drawn to him. They had become fast friends. The day when it all happened. There was a knock at Aelin’s door. She had told whoever it was to go away. But Emrys being himself stayed until she opened the door. With her eyes splotchy and blood-shot. Taking one look at her, he pulled her into an embrace. Crying quietly, she told him of the events of the day. 

Emrys had a mate of his own. So, when he heard the story, his heart broke for the girl. She had shouted her frustrations to the gods. She had cried herself to sleep that night. Unwilling to continue with the day. Aelin had woken up early the next day and set to work. Knowing that it was the only thing to keep her mind off Rowan for a little while. For a while, it had worked. She had been so distracted with chopping and frying that she had forgotten her sorrows. Then Edan walked to the dining hall for breakfast. Her world had come crashing around her. All the things she had forgotten about hitting her in the chest. 

Several hours had past since Edan left. Aelin was taking a run around the perimeter of Mistward. Even though this was her day off, she still trained. She still didn’t have full control of her powers. The amount of power still scared her. There was so much of it. She just barely began to scratch the surface. Early on, she realized that she could use the shield around the fort to her advantage. Her power could be bounced off. It was a great way to practice her shielding. The first morning she had come out. Aelin had sent a flame dagger too far to the left and it ricocheted back towards her. Nicking her arm in the process. From above, she could hear the guards snicker at her mistake. Shaking her head in frustration, she sent another one at the wall. Shielding against it perfectly. Since then, the guards hadn’t laughed at her. Edan had noticed the increase of control. 

Pumping her arms faster. She sprinted down the path towards the eastern edge of the court yard. Her fire sang with the fresh air. This fae body was glorious. It intensified the smell and taste of everything. To think she had been so scared of this body. Needing to feel the wind in her hair. Aelin rounded the corner to the east entrance and skirted to a halt. Panting, Aelin looked at the white-tailed hawk perched atop a statue. Knowing full well, that it was her mate.

~

 

Rowan’s magic pushed his hawk faster and faster towards Mistward. He sailed on a wind of his own making. It didn’t take him a long time to get to the shield surrounding the fortress. From up above, he could see a girl running around the perimeter of the fortress. She was moving with such grace. When he arrived, she was doing a brisk run, now it transformed to a full sprint. She was running towards a corner. Looking in that direction. He could see a statue that would be in full view. Angling his wings down, he soared towards the ground. 

Seeing a shoulder that he could easily land on. Rowan back flapped when he was almost in contact with the stone. With his fae ears, Rowan could Aelin getting closer and closer to the corner. He ruffled his feather and waited for her to round the corner. Then there she was. As soon as she saw him, she came to a halt. 

Aelin stared at the hawk in front of her and he stared back. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the sight of him. Even more so after the run. She was afraid it would burst from her chest. Scenting the air, pine and snow hit her like a blow to the chest. Gods, his scent was intoxicating. The days when she and Aedion would go and build snowmen in the gardens. That’s what he smelled like, like Terrasen. The Staghorn mountain that stood watch over her in Oryanth. 

She couldn’t believe her eyes. He was here. It wasn’t a figment of her imagination. The bird just stared and stared at her. Letting out a long sigh. “Well, are you just going to stay in your hawk form? Because I don’t speak hawk well enough to hold a conversation.”

He ruffled his feathers, and with a flash of light, Rowan Whitethorn stood in front of her. Moving so fast, Aelin surged forward and slapped him across his face. “You rutting bastard. Have you come here to gloat? To see what your rejection has done to me? Do you find this funny? Because I don’t. If you are here to gloat, you might as well leave now,” Aelin snarled with fae intensity. Taking a deep breath, Rowan took the blow. Took the anger. He just stood there in such stillness.

“How dare you come back here? You left me.” Her face was steel as she looked at him. It took all he training the past ten years, not to let the tears well. Aelin was feeling everything in that moment. The joy of having her mate in front of her, also the anger. Seeing him in real life. Not just in her dreams. He was more stunning up close. He had sharp cheekbones, his silver hair was tied back in a strap of leather. During the first meeting, she had been a ways away from him. Now, up close, she could see that his eyes were the color of pine trees. It blew her breath away. He stood a good head length above her. He was massive, this male in front of her was law unto himself. There were scars crisscrossed his powerful arms. There were tattoos peaking above his collar. She wondered how far they went.

“I know I have no right to be here. If you don’t want to see me. Just tell me to go and I will fly away, and you won’t see me again. But, honestly, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I know what I did was wrong-“

“Wrong, ha!” she shouted, laughing, adjusting her stance. “Yeah, that is the exact word I would use. You rejected me before even letting me introduce myself. You told me no before getting to know me. I should kick your ass right now for even being here.” Rowan looked down at the ground and nodded. He turned away from her at the words. As soon as she saw his back. Aelin panicked at the thought of him walking away from her again. 

Surging forward, she grabbed his muscled forearm. His skin was warm to the touch. Turning to look at her, his eyes snapped to the place where they were touching. The warm, soft bond that had been between them slowly started form at the connection. In surprise, Aelin looked up at Rowan in shock. His eyes reflected the same thing. 

“I thought it was gone,” Rowan said in a deep, lovely, almost rolling purr. There was a very subtle accent, one she couldn’t place. The way he said it made her heart stop clean in her chest. They just stood there staring at the hand wrapped around Rowan’s forearm. Their eyes slowly meet the others. Just like when they had first set eyes on another. The world around them went silent. The birds had quieted, as if waiting to see this unfold. With Aelin’s heighten senses, she could hear Rowan’s shallow breaths. Slowly getting quicker with each passing second, they were touching. 

“I’m sorry.” Letting go immediately. “I just…. Just...didn’t mean what I said. I’m just shocked that’s all,” steeling herself. She takes a step back and looks around the courtyard. There wasn’t anyone around. 

“What are you doing here?”

Rowan looked like he, himself, didn’t really have the answer. They looked at each other. Reading each other’s emotions as well if they had been spoke aloud. I made a mistake. He seemed to say. There was such regret in his eyes. Rowan took her hand as if to say, I’m sorry, please let me make it up to you. Her heart began to race. Hope started to flood her chest. Rowan was here. It wasn’t just some fragment of her imagination. Her mate had come back to her. Had chosen her over his wife.

Gods, his wife. What happened to her?

“What happened with your wife?”

Rowan took in a deep sigh. “Edan came home today. He wanted to talk about what happened. We were arguing in the gardens surrounding our home, when Lyria heard our conversation. She told me that she couldn’t love me, not if I were meant to be with another. It was wrong to take away your opportunity to have a mate, our opportunity. It was wrong for her to stand in the way of fate. In the way of the gods. So, she let me go. When I first saw you, the first thing I saw was a future. One where we were living happily. You smiled at me.” Rowan admitted, “I could have sworn, your smile could have drowned out the sun. Lyria knew that I didn’t want to break apart my family. But having a mate is worth all of that.”

Her jaw quivered at the words. But she steeled herself into neutrality. Aelin took a large breath in and slowly released it. Looking at him, Aelin knew that what he was saying was the truth. That she had plagued him as much as he did to her. That they wouldn’t find a moment’s peace if they didn’t explore this. It was worth a shot to test this out. They owed it to themselves. Owed it to the gods who placed their souls together in the beginning of time. 

Looking at Rowan, Aelin suggested, “Come, lets go to the kitchens and see if Emrys has any lunch left. The mess hall should be empty. We can talk there.”

“Okay.” A glimmer of hope flickered between them.  
~  
Aelin lead the way down the corridors to the kitchen. Aelin became more and more aware of the situation. Rowan had come back, and she let him. Why would she do that? This male had made her like a living hell for a week straight. Now, did he just think they would jump into to being happy mates? No. That’s not how this is going to work.

They entered the large kitchens in search of food. Emrys was starting the preparations for the evening meal. At the sounds of footsteps, Emrys looked up. He’s eyes went wide when he took in Aelin and Rowan. His eyes shoot immediately to Aelin’s, worry lining his eyes. Aelin shakes her head, in a way telling Emrys it was okay. Aelin lead them to a table. Sighing, Emrys brought over two larges bowls of soup and a half loaf of bread to share between them. 

Rowan nodded his thanks to the cook. The old man shot him an incredulous look and went back the oven. Glancing around the room. There was a large hearth on the far wall. It had several figures topping the mantel. He realized quickly that they were the gods and goddesses watching over the world. The air was growing hotter the longer they sat in silence. 

Then Aelin started, “I cannot forgive you for what you did. I cannot just stand here believing nothing happened when we first met. Can’t just forget the hell you put me through. I am not some dog that will roll over on its belly at the prospect of a pet. Quite the contrary, when provoked, I bite. But I am willing to try. I am willing to give you consideration of getting to know you. More than you gave me.  
Because we owe it to ourselves to see if we can make it work. Owe it to the small thread between us. The one that lived after you said no.” Rowan knew it wouldn’t be easy. But there was such fire within her. One that cannot be quenched. It was a terrifying thing to behold. All that power trained on you. 

“Also, Edan told me you were the one to train him. You were the one who taught him to control his powers. I think you should do the same for me. Edan and I will still train. But you will be there. I’m not one to admit this sort of thing. But I’m not comfortable fully with my powers. I think you would be the perfect mentor. It will help us get to know each other.”

Aelin looked at Rowan after her conditions. Sucking on his teeth, Rowan considered the offer. The only one that she would accept. “Fine, I will help train you. Just to be aware, I will not go easy on you. I will hold you to every standard I held Edan and the others I have trained.”

“I have been through many difficult training sessions. First thing to know, I was trained as an assassin since the age of eight. I was trained under the “King of Assassin’s”, as the prick called himself. To answer your question, he was the one to find me when my parents died. He took me into his home of killers and I became his protégé. I went by a different name back then. I was known as Celaena Sardothian” Surprise flashed briefly on his features at the words. Evidently, he didn’t know about her past. Didn’t know about the mines or competition. 

With this new information tucked away. Rowan continued eating his soup. There would be a time for questions. A time to get to know the female in front of him. He understood why she had been so angry. Rowan had felt it radiating off her on their walk to the kitchens. The woman whose eyes had filled with emotion seeing him again was now gone. There now was an assassin who kept her secrets well. But in time, Rowan knew they would trust each other enough to share them.


	4. Back Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part four in the shattering of two souls series

The spring time in Wendlyn as a nightmare. It had constant humidity that caused Aelin’s hair to frizz. Her hair was in a constant state of chaos. Edan had returned to the fortress two days after Rowan came back. His eyes were full of hurt. Aelin knew that she couldn’t push him on it. Because there were times that she wanted the same courtesy.  
Aelin started training with Rowan. As he promised, he kicked her ass in every single training session. Aelin was skilled, they all knew that. But when it came to her power. She didn’t have the control she wanted. Her power was a constant presence. It needed to be released constantly. So, Edan dragged her to ruin to ruin. Places where it would be okay if she lost control of her power, no collateral damage.  
Every morning in the mess hall, Rowan would sit across from Aelin. They had made a habit of this. After doing the scullery duty for breakfast. Rowan would meet her, and they would talk over breakfast. It started with little things. “So, you didn’t have any siblings. Were you close to anyone growing up?” Rowan asked he brought a spoonful of cinnamon oatmeal to his mouth.  
“Yeah, I had a cousin, Aedion,” a pang of hurt rushed through her. She hadn’t spoken that name in ten years. “He was five years older than I was. We fought and loved each other as siblings. Due to my mother’s fae heritage, she had a hard pregnancy. She even stopped breathing during labor. They said that it was my father’s will that brought her back. I don’t think they would have more children if they had lived.”  
“What about you?” Aelin returned. Rowan took a deep breath, “I was the only child my parents conceived in the millennia they were together. They passed while I was in my second decade. I also had cousins growing up. We went to school together for the first part of our lives. The cousin I was closest to choose politics and I went the soldier route. We aren’t really close anymore.”  
Aelin looked at Rowan and realized that this was the first conversation that delved deeper into the other’s soul. It was getting easier to talk to him. The more and more they talked, the closer they became.  
After breakfast, Aelin went to find Edan. He was standing on the edge of Mistward. “I think I finally figured you out. Come, I have a training exercised waiting.” Looking around, Aelin didn’t see Rowan. He must not be joining us. Nodding, Aelin followed Edan to the base of a craggy mountain. It had been a five-mile hike to the mountain. Uphill. There were trees surrounding the stone and hillside of the mountain.  
“What the rutting hell are we doing here?” Aelin asked as they neared an opening in the mountain face. “Hurry up.” Edan said as he stroked into the cave mouth. His cloak swishing behind him.  
It was dark inside the cave. She could only see Edan from the light reflecting off his hair. The ground was rocky. There were little, smooth stones littering the ground. As they turned a corner. A large underground lake appeared in front of them. It was covered in ice. The surrounding air bit her, Aelin wrapped her cloak closer around her.  
Looking around, there were weapons of all sorts covering the ground. Along with the weapons, there was armor. All different styles and sizes. But no bodies. It was as if the people who carried them had just discarded them. Aelin glanced up at the frozen lake, and to her horror. There sat Luca, chains shackling his wrists. Luca saw her look and waved in hello. He was sitting on a blanket. “I’m hungry! Did you bring food with you? Also, I’m freezing out here.”  
Aelin whipped to Edan, snarling, “What is this?”  
“You need to work on your control. Go get him.” Aelin gapped at Edan at that moment. Thinking there is no way in hell.  
“Have you lost your god-damned mind? He doesn’t know who I am.”  
Edan’s smile was answer enough. Sighing, Aelin made to step onto the ice. There was a tisk behind her. “In your other form.”  
Snarling, with a flash of light and pain. Aelin could see that the chains were frozen in the ice. Aelin stepped cautiously on the ice and made her way to Luca. From behind her, “You need to be in complete control. In your human form, you can keep it dormant. But the moment you switch, you lose all of that control. Especially when you feel frighten or in danger. When that happens, your magic comes to your defense. It doesn’t realize that you are the one in control. So, teach it that it must listen to you.”  
Nodding, Aelin shuffled her way closer to Luca.  
~

Rowan walked into the kitchens looking for Edan and Aelin. The only person in the room was Emrys. He was preparing the midday meal. Looking up, Emrys made a small noise of greeting. “Do you know where Aelin and Edan went off to?”  
“Yes, actually. Edan came in this morning to fetch Luca for a training exercise. I think they were going to Bald Mountain. To the underground lake beneath it.” Rowan considered the location for a moment. Trying to think of what could possibly be there. Then a story dawned in his mind. One of warrior who took out an eye of a horrible lake monster. It was a legend to keep children scared from ever going there.  
“How long have they been gone?” Rowan asked the cook. “Only about half an hour. I doubt it would take that long.” Edan replied.  
“You’re a story-teller, correct?” Nodding, to Rowan’s question. Emrys stopped what he was doing and turned to listen to him fully. “Isn’t there supposed to be this horrible monster that lives in that lake?” Emrys considered for a moment. Delving deep into his mind.  
“Now that you mention it, yes. I think there is. I had forgotten that story. A weary traveler once told me that he had seen the monster with his own eyes. He bore a dagger from the cave.”  
Rowan’s heart stopped in his chest. They were in danger if the stories were correct. Edan probably didn’t know the legend of the place. Probably thinking that the lake was empty. Not realizing that there was a monster lurking in its depths. The small thread that connected he and Aelin shimmered with anticipation. Urging him to go.  
“Thank you.” Rowan says to the old man before heading out of the door. He rushes out of the fortress. As soon as he was out of the shield. Rowan shifted and flew towards Bald Mountain. Praying he was wrong about the beast.  
~  
The ice beneath Aelin’s feet fractured beneath her. Hissing, Aelin threw a vulgar gesture in Edan’s direction. Beneath her feet. Aelin could see more and more weapons on the floor. They were everywhere. Aelin finally got to Luca’s side. There were only two options. One, she would have to melt the ice around the shackles and make him carry the chains back to the shore. But there was a risk of letting to much power seep through. And they both would be swimming. Or she would have to melt the shackles. But she might burn him and leave scars where the metal touched his skin. She went for option one.  
Glancing down at the ice. Aelin pressed her hand to the ice and let a small amount of fire out of her hands. A small puddle of water started to form around the chain. Deeper and deep the small thread of fire went. Until the chain was surrounded by a perfect circle of water. Slowly, Luca lifted his arms and the chain went with the movements. Luca grabbed the length of chain and smiled at the accomplishment.  
From behind them, a hawk loosed a cry. Turning around, she saw a white-tailed hawk fly into the cave. Her heart leaped at the sight of him. Aelin grabbed Luca’s hand and ordered, “Lets get off the ice.” Aelin placed her hands on the ice to push up. Beneath the ice, mere feet from them. A large red eye stared at them. Gasping, Aelin skitted back. Luca looked down at her gasped and screamed softly.  
From the shore, Rowan shouted, “Get off the ice, hurry.”  
Aelin grasped Luca’s sleeve and shoved him up. “Go, go, go, go. I’m right behind you.” The creature beneath them swam lazily with them towards the shore. It had a massive white head. They were doing their best trying to get off the ice. Their feet would slip. Beneath them, Aelin could the see the ice was thickening. A path towards the shore. Taking a brief glance down, she could see a large white shape following. Aelin had never seen anything like it. It didn’t look like a dragon or a wyvern. It had a large row of huge white teeth. Big enough to sever a man I half. From behind them, the ice lurched as its tail tapped curiously against the ice. The momentum caused Luca to fall. Aelin almost lost her balance as another wave of water moved the ice. They were nearing the shore. Aelin looked up to see Edan’s eyes wide with shock.  
Rowan was looking around the cave for anything useful. From where he stood. It didn’t look like either of them had any weapons on them. Noticing a crack in the wall, Rowan saw a glimmer of red. Moving towards it, he saw a scabbard. Pulling the blade free. Rowan unsheathed the blade to find a sharpened sword. He ran to the edge of the shore and slid the blade towards Aelin with a small gust of wind. She did a small shuffle-run towards the blade and scooped it up. From behind them. The ice shattered as the creature slammed its tail against the ice. Sending water and ice shards towards them.  
Aelin fell on to her hands as the ice moved beneath her. Her flames shot up to protect her. It took everything she had to force it back down. If she let her power take control, she would be dead. The sword Rowan threw to her had a large ruby, the size of a chicken egg, in its hilt. When she fell, a golden ring fell from somewhere within the ring. Aelin snatched up the ring and started again towards the shore. Luca made it to the shore before she did. She only had a few feet of ice left before land. From behind her, the iced bucked behind her as the creature crashed through the ice. Sprinting off the ice, Rowan had his hand out for her. As soon as her hand met his, Rowan pulled her to him. Crashing into Rowan’s chest. They crashed to the ground. Turning towards the ice, she could see the creature trying to climb its ways on to the ice.  
Suddenly, the ice was gone. The creature fell with a large splash back into the water. It started to swim towards them. The four of them leapt over the fallen weapons and armors. Now knowing why there were no skeletons. Behind them, the creature sprang from the water and charged after them. Sunshine hit them as they sprinted from the cave. With a roar, the creature stopped dead at the sunlight. As if it had been there for years and this was the first time it had seen sun.  
Once they got back to Mistward. Aelin lunged at Edan. Tackling him to the ground. Rowan and Luca stood in shock. Aelin was on top of Edan when she pummeled her fist into his face. Rowan motioned for Luca to leave. Not wanting to be a part of it. Luca rushed to the fortress. Turning back to the brawl in front of him. Rowan watched as Edan brought his foot to her chest and kicked her off. Rolling, Aelin was on her feet in a second. As agile as a cat.  
Aelin swung her leg to knock him off balance. Side stepping the kick, Edan snarled and threw her to the ground. The air whooshed out of her chest as she hit the ground. Aelin wrapped her legs around him and before he could pin her. She flipped them both with every ounce of her immortal strength. And with that, he was pinned. She drew back her fist and slammed it once more into his nose. Blood sprayed as her fist connected.  
Her knuckles were barking with agony, “If you ever again bring someone else into this,” she panted. “If you ever endanger anyone else the way you did today. I will kill you.” Another strike, a back handed blow. He had gone still. As if he was taking the blows. From behind her, Rowan was just standing there watching. “I will rip out your rutting throat.” She bared her canines. “You understand?”  
Edan turned his head and spat out blood. Her blood was pounding, with every heart-beat. The little restraint she had ebbed away. Edan moved, and she was beneath him again. “I will do as I wish.”  
Aelin struggled against Edan pinning her down. But with his age and training. She couldn’t move anywhere. “You will keep people out of this!” she screamed, loud enough for the birds to stop chattering.  
“Tell me why, Aelin.”  
She dug her nails into his wrists. “Because I am sick of it!” She was gulping down air, each breath a shuttering as the horrific realization she’d been holding back since Nehemia’s death came loose. “I told her I wouldn’t help, so she orchestrated her own death. Because she thought…” she laughed – a horrible, wild sound. “She thought that her death would spur me into action. She thought I could somehow do more than her – that she was worth more dead. And she lied – about everything. She lied to me because I was a coward, and I hate her for it. I hate her for leaving me.”  
She said it. Said that words that she had been choking on for weeks. Even though she was close to Edan. She hadn’t been able to tell his that story. “Please,” she panted, not caring that she was begging, “please don’t bring anyone else into this.”  
Edan got off her at the words. He looked towards Aelin, then towards his father. Aelin shifted onto her knees. Head hung low. Looking at his father, Edan knew he needed to leave. “Fine.” And Edan stocked off towards the fortress.  
~

Rowan stared at the female before him. Edan had been right. Aelin Galathyinus was no child. He had been wrong to ever call her as such. From where he stood, his mate curled her knees to her chest. “How did she die?” Rowan asked.  
Looking up, Aelin made eye contact with him. Sighing, she adjusted her sitting position. “She manipulated a mutual acquaintance thinking that he need to have her killed to further his agenda. So, he hired an assassin and made sure I wasn’t here. Then he murdered her.” A memory flashed, a broken body on a bed. Aelin flinched at the memory.  
“What happened to the two men?” Rowan asked.  
“The assassin I killed. I cut up his body into little pieces for what he did to her. Then I left those pieces in the alleyway. And the man who hired him….” Another body flashed across her mind. Her hair, clothes, and skin were slick with blood. Chaol gawking at her in the tunnels. “I gutted him and left him in the sewers to be eaten by rats.”  
Those were the two worst things she had ever done. But Rowan didn’t look at her with any fear in his eyes. He only replied, “Good.”  
Her mate looked at her. There was no distain or fear in his eyes. Aelin knew that he would never look at her like that. Never judge her for any decision. Not one where she was defending her friends or family. “How much of my back story do you know?” Aelin asks where she is sitting.  
“Not much.” He admitted. The wind ruffled her hair as she gazed up at him. Motioning for him to sit. “Then I need to tell you a story.”  
She spoke about a beautiful young princess whose parents died when she was very young. About how the princess was taken in by a mean man who made her into an assassin. How the girl trained to be the greatest assassin in all the land. She told him about going to the red desert and stealing Asteron horses, about dining with courtesans and lords and ladies. Told him about Sam and how he was taken from her. Then how she was carted to Endovier. Aelin spoke briefly about that year. And how a dreaming prince took her from that hell and made her his champion. She told him about the Captain of the Guard and the light of Eyllwe. How when the light of Eyllwe had gone out, she had marred the face of the captain. Sometime during her story, Rowan had taken her hand, and held it throughout her story.  
“There is one more part of the story. I’ve come to Wendlyn to gain information about something called wyrdgates and wyrdkeys. There is a demon race called the Valg. They have been in this world twice. Both times they have caused Great Wars. Maeve is the only one who is old enough to know about them. So, that is why I am here. To gain information on the valg and how to defeat them. The world is depending on it.”  
Then she told Rowan about Elena and what she had learned from her. Rowan listened to the entire thing. Once she was done, Rowan said, “It looks like we have a long way to go. I will be there every step of the way if you allow me to. I won’t let you fight this alone.”  
Aelin thought those might be the greatest words. She knew that even if the world were to go to hell. It would be all right. Because they would be in this together. Aelin stood from her spot in the grass and held her hand out to him. An offer, an acceptance. Rowan took her hand and they walked back to the fortress together. Ready to take on whatever was next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has some actual quotes of HoF. It needed it. I wasn't able to due the situation justice..... There will be a part 5. So keep your eye out!

**Author's Note:**

> I think I might write a part two..... Let me know if you want that....


End file.
